Finding the brother and sister in us all
An oft used small group exercise inquires of participants the characteristics they find most meaningful in church settings, the elements that hold the most meaning for them as a friend or a member of the church. Those present are tasked with winnowing out a hierarchy of responses. As the number of requisites are reduced, people find it near impossible to sit still and come up with a final short list on which everyone can agree. But, as hard as it might appear, most groups are reluctantly able to reach a conclusion, usually accompanied by a multitude of disclaimers. Often, the sole remaining element indicates that people are most drawn to church based on relationships.
That opens another line of questioning as to whether we are speaking about personal relationships, community and social involvements or spiritual relationships with the Divine. It makes us pause to consider all the elements as one, a melding of mind, body, and spirit (overtones intended). Empowerment rises from questioning as we discover we can query and challenge dogma as part of the process. It is an ear-opener to hear people excited to share, especially if they have not had the freedom to do so in the past. The Word becomes a living breathing part of daily life. Are we ready for what that might mean?
Two recent friends of the church discovered relationships were figuratively at the top of their lists, ritual becoming rite, and rite, sacrament. Symbolized by a gentle greeting and preserved historically in the low churches by acknowledgment of one using the endearments ‘sister’ or ‘brother,’ the practice has extended to modern-day usage at official meetings of several denominations where people were raised hearing the terms used in everyday life. To recognize someone as brother or sister sets the stage for a more genteel conversation while in the same moment honoring the person to whom one is speaking.
So, what is the fuss about? Is this merely a quaint mannerism of early American churches or is there something more? It can be rather humbling to be addressed as one’s brother or sister and it is a reminder that all of us could do a bit better in respecting others. It goes hand in hand with being observant and careful listeners and that when speaking we should be cognizant of God’s presence and how we conduct ourselves.
It is a great ideal but it does not always hold up. We still address the church body as brothers and sisters, then occasionally set aside our manners because we do not get our way. In that we are no better or worse than anyone else. But, if we can learn to practice, then we might find ourselves thinking more brotherly or sisterly toward one another. Is that such a tough expectation?
The two lifelong members of a small congregation did not always agree or reach the same conclusions about scripture, interpretation, theories of atonement and the church’s stance on numbers of other issues. They did, however, agree when it came to greeting one another in the same manner each Sunday morning … a slight nod to the other and shaking of hands accompanied by “Brother Wilbur” and quickly thereafter by “Brother Charles.” That is all it took to speak volumes.
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