What can we reason but from what we know? -Alexander Pope

Under the Wire

We came so close to being friends

Sometime in our lives, we all have met someone we immediately connect with. Something just meshes and a sense of appreciation between both parties develops. I have been very fortunate to add several people to my list of close friends this way.

A couple of days ago, however, I added someone whom I knew immediately would be on that list. His sense of humor and mine would be carbon copies. There was one thing, however that would complicate our relationship. I never really met him. He came to me in the form of a name on a poster on the wall of a restaurant Sue and I were having breakfast in. Across the room was a poster with words that could have come out of my mouth, if I had thought about it. In short they indicated a slightly twisted and curious mind. Which is the source for many of these columns.

The poster read, as best as I can recall, “Everyone knows a slice of bread when dropped, always lands butter side down. It is also a fact that when cats fall, they always land on their feet.” He then continues with, “Why not attach a slice of bread, butter side up, to a cat’s back, then drop the cat to see what happens.”

I like how this guy thinks. The name at the bottom of this thought was “Steven Wright.”

I knew we would probably get along quite well. Out of curiosity I googled him to learn more about my future best friend. Turns out he doesn’t need me for a friend. He already has plenty. He is a standup comedian, actor, writer and film producer. No mention of any sort about cows, ranches or broken down hay machines. In spite of that, “Rolling Stone” magazine at one time ranked him as the 15th Greatest Comedian.

I guess they aren’t into cows, ranches and non-functional hay machinery because I couldn’t find my name on their list. OK, so I really didn’t look. Kind of knew our topics would differ.

I have gone into so much detail on Mr. Wright so there would be no question regarding my giving him full credit for his material. He probably can afford a bus load of lawyers plus I’m pretty sure we would not become close friends due to slightly differing lifestyles.

Anyway, if one of you happens to conduct the slice of bread/cat experiment, I would like to know how it worked out! Steven Wright? We came so close to being friends but doubt it would work out.

 

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