Under the Wire

When cell phones hit the world, Sue and I were among the first to buy in. At the time we were living pretty complicated lives. All at the same time, we were traveling down the rodeo road and producing our new radio programs, all the while trying to keep track of four kids, too old to want to tag along with us and too young to trust all the decisions they might be making in our absence. Being able to travel with a phone you could use from anywhere was great. Not sure the kids would agree. Proof the phones were invaluable!

Like most of the world these days cell phones have joined the list of things we never leave the house without. For me that means, jeans, shirt, neck scarf if it is cold, hat and of course, Mastercard. Sue has learned that while that can be more expensive, having me know she can track everywhere I have been makes up for any extra charges here and there. I usually try to be a bit cautious about how I use the plastic. Unfortunately no one will let you charge a really good horse on a credit card. Add new pickup to that list, too.

However, lately, one former advantage of carrying a cell phone has turned into a big negative, and no, it isn’t robo-calls wanting to remind me the extended warranty on my 2014 Chevy pickup with one hundred 60,000miles is about to expire. I have tried to text a picture of it along with the question, “Really?" But these never seem to go through.

No, that’s not my beef. Among the wonderful features of a cell phone is something called “voicemail.” In short, a portable answering machine. It’s pretty cool, too. Pick up the phone, call the number, leave a message, then move on to your next call, actually, call after call. You can do a lot of business that way right? Nope, that’s a big no. It really has become a complete waste of time. Problem? Nobody listened to the messages. Your phone rings, the screen says it is Joe Blow whom you just left a message. You answer immediately. Joe says “I see you called. What can I do for you?” I then get to repeat the message he was supposed to hear, then respond to. I used to ask if he heard my message until I realize nobody listens to their messages. They are a total waste of your breath. Nearly every cell phone owner has time to leave a catchy message on their voicemail inviting you to leave them a message and, “I’ll get right back to you.” That’s actually a lie, or at least half of one. They may really “get right back” to me, but they will have no idea why they are doing it, thus wasting both of our time.

Yep, cell phones are nice. Catchy ring tones, pleasant messages to welcome your call, all in a nice carrying case to protect it all. Well, as far as I am concerned, they can break off the section of the carrying case that protects voice mail. Let it get crushed. Nobody listens to it anyway!