Under the Wire

There is one irony of life that has frustrated and fascinated me as long as I can remember.

We are all put on this earth with the same basic skills. We walk, talk, throw rocks, break things and fix things, to name but a few basics we all possess to some degree. This part I get. The part I find so interesting and confusing is this.

Why are some able to perform one or more of these normal activities so much better than others? More important, when I have picked out one or two skills I really wanted to get good at, ordinary was about as far as I could get.

Meeting a World Champion Calf roper when I was about 12 cemented my desire to become as good as him. I dedicated the next 30 years to that pursuit and never came close to the skills of Jim Bob Altizer of Del Rio, Texas.

I know I share my frustration with millions more who simply wanted to get very good at something. A young friend of mine did become a very successful calf roper, moving on to coach dozens of youngsters with those goals. He, however, is a total failure at one skill he really needs and has worked hard at. The skill sounds simple enough. Most would not even recognize it as a skill. Based on my observation of his efforts, it definitely is and he does not have it. The unique skill that eludes him? A goat buyer.

You read this correctly. He wants to become good a buying goats or at least not be so bad at it.

Here’s his story. This young wizard of the polygrass rope and piggin’ string has two daughters who are just entering the world of junior rodeo goat tying. They need goats to practice on. Add to that the college rodeo team he coaches needs lots of them. The problem?

A few months ago he took some worn out goats to the sale. The auction crew sorted them up, ran them through the ring and my young friend bought them … again.

After months of stinging jokes from all who learned of his gaff, he decided to watch a goat auction online from his home office. No distractions from ring men, auctioneer and competing bidders. He winrowed dozens with a click of the mouse. On paper it appeared his weights and prices had made him a pretty good hand at goat buying online. Some say that television appears to add 25 pounds to actors. Backing up to the load-out chute at the auction barn, he observed the screen also adds a like amount to goats, as a herd (flock, gaggle, swarm?) whatever you call a bunch of very little goats approached his trailer . He took no solace in the fact all had topped the market that day as well.

In this world, there are goat buyers and there are goat buyers. Some are just better than others, as I found out about calf roping years ago.

Go figure.