Under the Wire

Talk about close calls! I just had one. It was so close, just the thought of it gives me chills. “what,” you may ask, “was so memorably awful?” I’m going to begin writing very slowly and carefully because my hand begins to tremble as I think about it. In spite of my terror at the very thought of it, here it is in print.

I almost retired. Yep, for a few days it looked like I was headed toward a life of rocking chairs, soft food and 24 hour a day television. At least I think that is what retired folks do.

It seems like at a certain point in life, most people begin to plan their retirement. 401ks are over flowing, they are no longer needed where ever they have always worked and all roads seem to lead to Arizona.

Here is how I almost went over the edge. A few days ago, here at our in-home offices on the ranch, Murphy’s law erupted, resulting in everything that could go wrong doing exactly that. If a machine of any kind, computer, printer, fax or scanner could find a way to quit working it did. We had no internet, e-mail quit working as did any machine we depended on for a living. Midday, in tears, Sue proclaimed, “Let’s sell out. I can’t do this anymore.” Her words echoed my exact thoughts. “Call somebody” I told her, “Let’s quit.” I was so mad I didn’t need to give it another thought … Until the next day when it dawned on me what I had agreed to.

Yesterday, waking up to nothing to do sounded wonderful. Actually almost doing it scared the you know what out of me. I’d have to begin wearing Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts. Maybe even learn to play golf. I could sleep past my usual 4 a.m., even stay up past my normal 8 p.m. bed time. All so I would have time to do … absolutely nothing.

Someone famous once said, “I have seen the enemy and he is me.” This now former cowboy, rancher, radio broadcaster and writer was one step away from jumping off the edge of the world. I resisted. No way was I going to become that guy. Immediately I saddled up a horse and moved some cows that didn’t need moved. Then hammer and nails in hand, the corral fences that had gone un-repaired for years, got fixed. I began getting up at 3 a.m. instead of 4 a.m. so there would be enough time for this fully employed and very needed, cowboy, rancher, writer and broadcaster to do all those things he loved to do. That old ugly retirement monster would have to wait a lot longer than this to trap me, so motivated am I now, tomorrow I am going back into my office full of broken down equipment, hammer in hand and, it’s not what you think, I am going to build some shelves for the new stuff scheduled to arrive next week. We’re going to need it cause I ain’t never gonna retire!

Boy that was close!