Under the Wire

Recently, it was pointed out I exhibit prejudice in my stories. Sadly, I had to agree. Looking back at past columns, a pattern of blatant prejudice is evident. Before you call the Civil Liberties Union, however, let me explain.

The manner in which this revelation came to me was as odd as the accusation itself. It was channeled through my wife from a lady at our local convenience store. For those of you who don’t live in a small town, that’s how news gets passed around in a place where the city limit signs are less than a mile apart. Sue had stopped by the store to invest in our retirement fund by purchasing a few lotto tickets. The lady who sells them to her is also a regular “Under The Wire” reader. I guess it gets pretty boring there sometimes. Never-the-less, she’s a nice lady and obviously a very knowledgeable reader. As Sue handed over our weekly IRA contribution, the lady handed the tickets back and remarked, “I was wondering. Gary is always writing about horses, cattle, dogs, even pigs once in awhile. Why doesn’t he ever write about sheep?” Seldom at a loss for words, Sue had no answer. “I’ll go home and ask him,” was the best she could do. I will have to admit it came as a surprise to me. Sue always has an answer for everything. Oh, yes, I was surprised about the sheep thing, too.

I write about horses a lot. I like them. I’m a firm believer in the adage “The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man.” It’s easy to write about them and people who are also fans of the noble steeds. I admit our fascination with them leads us to do strange things, but hey, an $80,000 living-quarters trailer is not too much to spend when you have a seventeen hundred dollar horse to haul to a roping.

I write about cows frequently, too. Not exactly as noble as a horse, they, too, impress me as pretty cool creations. Being in the cattle business is probably an addiction but so far no one has started a rehab program for us. I still say they are smarter than a lot of people I know, so what the heck? It makes sense to spend $35,000 on a four wheel drive pickup so you can check on a pasture full of cows whose total value in a week can fluctuate as much as the pickup cost.

Pigs have been the subject of a few columns, most notable “The Three Little Pigs” story. In it I related my plans to fatten and then barbeque three small stray pigs that wondered into our yard years ago. Turned out they were a new neighbors pets and the feeding thing wouldn’t have worked too well. They were some kind of dwarf pot-bellied porkers, already about three years old!

Regarding the absence of a reference to sheep in any columns, will this count?