Under the Wire

The end of each year brings attempts to name the “best” of the past year, decade or even longer. Best actor, best news story, best jar of jelly, etc, etc. When we finished a year, century and millennium, the “best” lists were grander than before.

I’ve decided to get in on the action myself this year. While there are “best of” awards in the fields of sports, medicine, literature and more, I noticed one glaring omission. There is no best of award for stuff that affects you and me daily. In short no “best invention” in the area of agriculture, that I’m aware of.

You’ve probably figured out by now that I lean toward the “cow” side of agriculture. I’ve told you I’m not a very good farmer and did my best to prove it to my neighbors. Therefore if there is a “best” tractor, type of wheat or shovel, chances are I don’t know anything about them. I’m a cowboy by my own definition so I’m looking for a “best invention” that affects us cow and horse people.

I considered several nominations for this auspicious (means important I’m told) honor.

I considered and dropped: the tractor cab (not cowboy enough, even though we sometimes have to drive ‘em we don’t like it) and the “calving ease” bull. These are bulls more or less guaranteed to produce small birth weight calves. Take my word for it, you still better have calf pullers and the vets‘ number nearby. I also gave thought to the invention of nylon, used in ropes, halters, panty hose and pickup seat covers. That may be redundant since both those last two are seat covers.

My choice, however, after hours of deliberation on the most important item to affect our lives in this millennium is ... the gooseneck stock trailer. Yep, no other single thing has changed living as a cowboy like the stock trailer.

For those of you too young to imagine life without “Trail Master," “Four Star” or “WW” trailers, let me tell you about something known as stock racks. In the years before “back up and dolly down,” there were the days of “Omaha Standard” and other wood and steel corral type devices that converted pickups and trucks into livestock hauling machines. Mounting these contraptions on the vehicle was bad enough. Getting livestock into and out of them was even worse. Washing your pickup later wasn’t too cool, either. Since cattle had to be crowded up a loading chute to get them loaded, projectiles launched from churning feet up the chute as you followed behind usually hit about face high. As one friend once told me “Boy I was lucky my mouth was open, otherwise that stuff would have hit me right in the face!”

Today we hook up, load and unload almost anywhere. If you doubt the trailer’s importance, drive by the parking lot of any auction barn on sale day. Therefore, my choice for the “best” thing to come from the past millennium is the gooseneck stock trailer. Runners up to the honor, by the way, according to my totally biased poll were gas powered post hole diggers, polled cows (means bred to be born with no horns) and call screening so I don’t accidentally answer my banker’s phone calls.