Under the Wire

Big corporations always publish a year-end report containing both financial information and overall performance of the company. I think the purpose is to keep stockholders in the dark while shining a light on their profits to the banks they have borrowed from. The system appears to work quite well so beginning this year I decided to do the same for our ranch operation, with a few alterations. I want to shed a light on the three or four things we accidentally did right, while keeping the bank in the dark. It is a combination of a financial budget and New Year’s resolutions, only in reverse. Instead of trying to predict how much we are we are going to spend, offset by how much we plan to make, mixed with did we keep the right replacement heifers and sell the calves at the right time, my report will be a bit more … shall we say “selective.”

I will start off with the cattle operation side of things. Cows numbered 210, 012 and 406 had wonderful calves we were able to sell as yearling bulls at a sizable profit. That notation will not leave room on the page for a sizable list of the cows who never got around to having a calf this year or had a pumpkin that weighed 350 pounds at 10 months of age.

I will go into great detail concerning our new pasture rotation system which increased our stocking rate and calf weaning weights. Not mentioned will be reactions from neighbors who would like us to keep our cows home and suggest we fix a bit more fence.

The financial report will highlight achievements such as fewest missed pickup payments in a five month period and my favorite accomplishment, a new mortgage payment record of the earliest we’ve ever been late.

I know most successful businesses eventually go public with an IPO (initial public offering) asking folks to give them money with no guarantee of ever seeing a penny of it again.

Am thinking of offering such an opportunity with our ranch too. It will be named KYBGB (kiss your bucks goodbye).

Should rake in millions.