Under the Wire

A friend recently asked why I have not written a column about these new fangled telephones. It was after the third time we were mysteriously cut off mid-sentence that he made the suggestion. “I have,” was my quick reply given without much thought first, my normal method of reacting to most situations. A few moments later, after taking my brain from neutral to first gear, I remembered what that column had been about.

My office at the old Livestock Exchange, Inc., where I was spending 60 to 80 hours a week had just been equipped with our new phone system. Push buttons, conference calls and most notable, a speaker that allowed you to eat lunch while talking on the phone. That was what I was doing when a customer walked in and found me eating a sandwich at my desk and apparently taking to myself. Word got out quickly that Gary had finally snapped from the long hours and lack of sleep that characterized life at one of the largest livestock auctions in the country at the time.

This was about 1987 and “Under The Wire” had just been born. Grasping for anything to write about, the shiny new five line phone capable of carrying on a conversation with a ham sandwich in one hand and can of pop in the other became a column.

I guess my friend was right. Phones have changed somewhat the last thirty-one years. It seems many have forgotten they can actually talk on their phones. They now text, face something or another, chat, tweet, an act formerly reserved for birds, even e-thing on these new marvels of electronics. Our entire new phone system at LEI, equipping a half dozen offices, plus strategic spots throughout the yards and building probably cost $2,500 and our phone bill $300 to $400 per month. Today, that might buy 10 phones whose individual bills could be close to our total.

When we called someone, no matter where it might be, you were contacted to them until a tree fell across the line somewhere between the two of you or one hung up. Some of my business calls lasted well over an hour. Today, armed with the latest and greatest, you are lucky to get in five minutes without finding you’ve been talking to yourself. Most text but I don’t spend enough time driving to get very good at it. Watch folks practicing everywhere I drive.

Yep, we have new phones, capable of wonderful things. Unfortunately, talking to other human beings isn’t one of the more important ones. At least if some could look up and wave as our vehicles passed on the highway, I would enjoy the contact.

Next phone story scheduled for 2049. Wonder what we will have to talk about.