Son Up to Son Down

My kids haven’t asked about school. It’s not even a blip on their radar at this point, when usually we’re gearing up for it with some back-to-school shopping, talking about their new teachers and wondering what their new classroom will be like. It’s not that they don’t like school, they just don’t really know what the plan is (neither do I) so they don’t know what questions to ask. We’ve talked about how it will look different this year, but our conversations usually end pretty quickly.

Never in a million years did I think that a mask would be part of my children’s back-to-school shopping list. The thought of my boys having to wear one makes me cringe, as do many other aspects of this madness. Every time I have to wear one, I curse under my breath. But lately I have spent a lot of time pondering: Am I reacting or am I responding? A reaction is quick, without thought and often aggressive. A response is thought out, calm and non-threatening. If I go with my gut reaction, I’m just inciting more reactions — a perpetual cycle of anger, frustration, fear and negativity. If I really slow down and take a moment to respond, is it really worth me getting so upset about? Of all the worst case scenarios, is this the hill I want to die on?

My personal opinions aside, I have decided I will not be the reason my kids have a school year full of stress or fear because I chose to project my negative attitude on them. First and foremost, I want my boys back in school. Not virtually. Not hybrid. I want them in school, in person, surrounded by others. While this is clearly not an ideal situation (and I hate it just as much as the next parent), I’m willing to do what I need to do to make that happen for my kids. I am going to be positive about it because I am the one my children look to when they don’t know how to react to something. I am the one they calibrate their emotional compasses to when they are unsure how to feel. My response, my attitude and my support will be what determines how their school year goes, not some stupid virus.

The current situation is unlike anything most of us have experienced in our lifetime. We could not have anticipated, nor prepared for, something of this magnitude. So if getting my kids back to a bit of normalcy requires them to wear a mask for a small part of their day, then so be it. If they have to get their temperature taken daily so they can be with their friends again, fine. What they get from school — friendship, socialization, life skills, a love for learning — is worth far more than my pride.

I am going to encourage my children to go into this year with a positive attitude despite these unfortunate circumstances. I am going to take this opportunity to teach them the importance of being flexible and resilient and ingrain into them that no matter what school looks like they are capable of great things, they have my support and I am here to help them succeed.