What can we reason but from what we know? -Alexander Pope
What can we reason but from what we know? -Alexander Pope
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When Sue and I married 35 years ago, along with a brilliant partner in love and life, came new family members for me, the Carnahans, including the family patriarch, Fred Carnahan. My new father-in-law was a farmer, cattleman, hunter and fabulous story teller, all the while acting as the magnet that drew his family to his home located on the farm that had been the “Carnahan Place” as long as any neighbor could recall. With five daughters and a son, there was a constant stream of advice see...
I am pretty sure the question that is this week’s column title has crossed most folk’s minds. “What have I done that anyone will remember and will it be what I had hoped it would be?” As with most things everyone in the world has thought about or already done, I was among the last to consider this weighty thought. I approached it no less enthusiastically than all before me. The result surprised me. In fact it was a bit disappointing. “Under The Wire” columns have popped out of my mind every...
Being good at something doesn’t necessarily mean you are good at doing it. Yeah, I have been pretty confused by that myself for a lot of years. Nevertheless, I have found evidence of this twisted fact several times in my life. My first observation of this came at least 20 ago, during my rodeo days. In addition to being a calf roper, an event requiring yourself and a semi-cooperative horse, I also team roped. This event required a partner and I was fortunate to have several very good ones. G...
OK, you opened your front door this morning to pick up the latest edition of your local newspaper and were greeted with a face full of those awful, dirty Miller Moths who became residents of your home before the door could be slammed shut. “Where in the world do all these things come from,” you probably asked no one in particular as you searched for the fly swatter. “Why doesn’t someone spray for them?” might be another futile question. Well, here is the answer to both those questions. Miller Mo...
Hay there my friends. What are you doing? Actually, that is a trick question. Notice my misspelling of Hey? That was not a mistake, I meant to refer to the mow it down, bale it up and store it away for winter livestock feeding type of hay. The rest of the trick question is that it is really not a question. I know this is getting a bit confusing so allow me to explain. Most of my friends are folks who are ranchers or farmers. Because of that, I know exactly what they are doing. They, like me,...
Regular “Under The Wire” readers will have noticed several of my recent columns have mentioned vacations. That is not because Sue and I have been going on so many. In fact, just the opposite is true. We hardly ever find time to travel for fun. Since we seem to be surrounded by folks who do, we have been working on a way we just might be able to pull one off. So far, as close as we have come was a trip to Sue’s hometown of Riverton, Kan., where I got lost on my way to a convenience store and w...
Let me begin this column with a heads up to all my loyal readers. If there is a date, including the month anywhere near the words on this page, I can assure you it was not my hand that put it there. Beginning March 2020, my grasp of time, including what month we are in, has been non-existent. Of course “The Rona” threw us all for a loop in that month. For me, that began a period where one month slipped by and was swiftly and quietly replaced by another. This process continued until, Lo and Beh...
A recent and very rare vacation found Sue and I wandering Western Colorado recently. When someone, years ago decided to draw a line smack dab through the middle of a Colorado map, they set many things into motion, some notable, some not so much. Most notable and not contributable to any single entity, if you don’t count God, is the fact water runs in opposite directions in each half. This grand difference, oddly, had absolutely no effect on our trip which utilized interstates and no rivers. O...
Gambling is nothing new. That, my friends is a major understatement. What is new, however, is how common it has become. Every vacation destination seems to need a casino to draw travelers. A stop at the local convenience store for a cup of coffee also offers a chance to retire forever by way of a lottery ticket. I am not writing this to slam the industry. Just the opposite. I’m here to admit to my major addiction to gambling. I am not a traditional gambler who must include a slot machine as a d...
When cell phones hit the world, Sue and I were among the first to buy in. At the time we were living pretty complicated lives. All at the same time, we were traveling down the rodeo road and producing our new radio programs, all the while trying to keep track of four kids, too old to want to tag along with us and too young to trust all the decisions they might be making in our absence. Being able to travel with a phone you could use from anywhere was great. Not sure the kids would agree. Proof...
Ever wonder where the term “online” originated? Most will answer, “Well, that’s an easy question, it began with the internet.” While many have claimed to have first thought up that monster, the truth is “online” goes way further back than the computer age. If any one person is responsible for coining the term, only one, Judge Roy Bean, can be given the title. This traveling circuit judge had another nickname which made him most famous, “The Hanging Judge.” It seems that a majority of his c...
Well, spring is here, supposedly everyone’s favorite time of the year, with the exception of skiers for obvious reasons and those who yearn for fall so they can rake leaves. I am not a member of either group. Born, raised and spent my entire life in Colorado, never been on skis and no intention of ever changing that. In our business of ranching, snow is only good after it melts and soaks away. Otherwise it needs shoveled out of feed bunks, plowed so you can get to the mail box and falls i...
Sue is always trying to add variety to our meals. Since we both have worked out of our home offices the entire thirty-five years of our marriage, this is a very good thing. “Eating out” is a luxury reserved for only the most special and the most desperate of times. To her extreme credit, she can make a meal out of anything and sometimes, nothing. I mention this because of something she brought home from our grocery visit recently. Unpacking the bags she proudly removed a plastic tray full of...
We take pride, here on the Hodgson Ranch, in staying as old fashioned as possible. Our cattle are gathered and worked horseback, no four wheelers or other motorized devices allowed. In spite of our best intentions, we also have to own a few pieces of machinery. Even then we try to adhere to doing things like grandpa did by buying about the same vintage of equipment he used. Admittedly, that is more about economics than nostalgia. We would love to buy new stuff but the only machinery we can...
You gotta be kidding? That is my standard response to all the suggestions floating around out there about how I should be spending my “Stay At Home” time. Seems everyone has an opinion and you know what they say about opinions. Pick up a newspaper, magazine or turn on the radio or television and someone will be expounding the virtues of how they are filling their stay at home hours. Go for walks, get a dog, do a complete makeover of your yard, take up sewing, baking, archery or learn to pla...
There is one irony of life that has frustrated and fascinated me as long as I can remember. We are all put on this earth with the same basic skills. We walk, talk, throw rocks, break things and fix things, to name but a few basics we all possess to some degree. This part I get. The part I find so interesting and confusing is this. Why are some able to perform one or more of these normal activities so much better than others? More important, when I have picked out one or two skills I really wante...
I guess I must be pretty easy to entertain. Most of my early morning coffee and quiet times are spent reading headlines from online newspapers. Headlines only because they want to charge me to read the whole paper. I figure the 30 or more I skim through, from ag and cattle magazines to big city newspapers all over the country would cost me about eight calves per year. Calf cost is how I keep track of expenses. I know about how many we will sell each fall and how many the bank is going to want...
Regular “Under The Wire” readers know I often compare human and bovine intelligence with the latter consistently coming out the winner. Today’s column once again points out how far ahead cows are over us humans. When Covid broke out over a year ago, many cattle owners pointed out a popular cattle vaccine protected bossy and her baby with “Bovine Rotavirus-Coronavirus” vaccine. The cow didn’t have to do anything to get the shot, just walk down the alley to the chute, leave a minute later, then...
Talk about close calls! I just had one. It was so close, just the thought of it gives me chills. “what,” you may ask, “was so memorably awful?” I’m going to begin writing very slowly and carefully because my hand begins to tremble as I think about it. In spite of my terror at the very thought of it, here it is in print. I almost retired. Yep, for a few days it looked like I was headed toward a life of rocking chairs, soft food and 24 hour a day television. At least I think that is what reti...
You may have heard of the Midas Touch. It does not refer to mufflers, rather the fable of a man whose touch turned everything into gold. Lesser known is another fable I created to describe my luck at a point in my life years ago. It’s called the Reverse Midas Touch. Everything I touched turned into a mixture of hay and water put through a horse. During my late teenage years and early 20s I seemed to possess the first recorded case of this phenomenon. It seemed to follow me wherever I went. A...
I’ll never have to make up stories as long as I have friends. My friend received a card in the mail last month asking if he would participate in a survey evaluating new pickups. They offered to pay him if he would look over the various models and give them his opinions. What in the world were they thinking, anyway? He jumped at the chance, of course. Offering to pay any guy to look at new pickups is like being asked to judge a bikini contest. If he happens to be married ... well, let’s just say...
If you have spent the past three months stranded half way between Jeffry City and Mayoworth, Wyo., you probably haven’t heard about stimulus dollars flowing into just about every citizen’s bank account. I’m not going to try and explain it all. Just ask around and you will get an earful about this. I can, however, point out that these programs grew from aid to individual citizens to businesses, large and small with one exception. At first ag enterprises were not included. Later that was chang...
Recently, it was pointed out I exhibit prejudice in my stories. Sadly, I had to agree. Looking back at past columns, a pattern of blatant prejudice is evident. Before you call the Civil Liberties Union, however, let me explain. The manner in which this revelation came to me was as odd as the accusation itself. It was channeled through my wife from a lady at our local convenience store. For those of you who don’t live in a small town, that’s how news gets passed around in a place where the cit...
Many years ago I attended a small, two room school about four miles from our ranch house. We didn’t have many neighbors so two rooms was enough for the eight or 10 kids spread out over four or five grades. Since I entered on the young end of the age groups I cannot tell you how many girls were in the school. Hadn’t even come close to being interested in them. In fact I was excited that my younger sister was attending an entirely different school miles away! There were, however, six boys. Iro...
You have no doubt noticed that I write about the funny things that happen to me. It’s easy to do because I don’t have to make anything up and who would know more about it than me? I was there. Every once in a while, something happens that may be funny to the world but I find it embarrassing, annoying or down right infuriating. Those events take time before they get funny for me. The following event, as close friends and neighbors will quickly recognize, took place several years ago. It has tak...
