What can we reason but from what we know? -Alexander Pope
What can we reason but from what we know? -Alexander Pope
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What’s in a name? Well, for some a lot more than was intended. Among the hundred or so emails my office computer attracts each day came a prime example of perhaps too much or too little thought going into some names. This message came from a group that advocates livestock grazing. How could I find fault with that? Their monthly message usually includes new ideas for rotational grazing, mixed species grazing and other ides to make livestock and the folks who own them, happier. What caught my a...
Dear Gary, In a typical year my elves answer most of our letters to Santa Claus. Unfortunately, the pandemic that hit most countries across the globe has made it’s way here to the North Pole as well, leaving us very short handed. Honestly, my elf helpers are always “short” handed. Sorry, that’s an inside joke around here. My whole crew is around two and a half feet tall. That fact has caused the COVID to hit us harder than most regions. We have adhered to all COVID restrictions and suggestions....
If you are involved with agriculture in any way you probably have heard of the National Agricultural Statistics Service or NASS for short. An offshoot of the USDA, their job is to conduct surveys among agriculture producers and then publish their findings in reports most disagree with. To say it is a thankless job would be an understatement. When they hit the mark with a report, the big USDA officials take the credit. If a report misses the mark, say a few million bushels of corn someone forgot...
Everything I know about people, I have learned from cows. This may be the 100th time I have begun an “Under The Wire” with that statement. It’s accuracy continues to astound and amaze me. Throughout my years of doing business, everything from trading horses and cattle, running a livestock auction, selling advertising on our radio network and hiring people for a variety of reasons, I have met a lot of different types of people. Most were wonderful, trustworthy folks. Some became lifelong frien...
The best explanation I’ve ever heard regarding the relationship of a man to his horse is, “The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man.” In the spirit of being socially and politically correct please delete “man” and insert “person” instead. Now that I think about it, the statement, very old I’m sure, needs further updating and corrections. It probably would be illegal to make a blanket claim that the outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person. More correctly, it s...
Well, here comes another holiday. That means an “Under The Wire” dedicated to the event. Not every holiday warrants a column as loyal readers have probably figured out now after 30 some years of doing this. Halloween doesn’t deserve a column as far as I am concerned. Never liked it as a kid. Probably because wearing weird clothes, a costume to most, complete with a mask I couldn’t see out of and hardly breath through, while walking down the barrow pit of our county road in the dark in late Oc...
Sooner or later everybody gets one. A little card arrives in the mail informing you your pickup or car is the subject of a manufacturer’s recall. I used to be very concerned when they arrived. Not anymore. The note usually informs me a trifecta switcharola located in the lower trimester of my Paulaabdool may malfunction causing the entire vehicle to burst into flames while parked in my barn. This, of course, would burn down the entire barn including all my trophy saddles and expensive tack s...
I have spent most of my free time since 14 years old in the pursuit of a gold buckle. Along with many of my friends, this pursuit of rodeo greatness consumed much of my thoughts and actions. When coupled with the fact I never even came close to greatness this is going to look like a pretty silly way to spend my life. Truth is, if I could do it all over again, I would change a few things. Yep, I’d work less and rope even harder. Some of you may think you are reading the words of an irresponsible...
If you are lucky you will have a “Bob” in your life. If you are very lucky, having a “Bob” in your life won’t get you killed or seriously injured. I met Bob many years ago. This means we were both considerably younger and thus possessed the accompanying younger outlook on life. We were invincible, occasionally invisible and always on the lookout for our next great adventure. Older readers will recognize and remember this time of your life. Younger readers might not since you are at this poin...
A lot of my days have been spent either with a rope in my hand or thinking about having a rope in my hand. During countless hours in the practice pen and on the rodeo road, I have acquired a tremendous amount of knowledge concerning all aspects of roping and related subjects. Most of it today is completely worthless. The sport of rodeo and associated roping events have evolved ... tremendously. I, on the other hand, have evolved ... slightly. When I began roping calves years ago we got off the...
I have discovered one of life’s best kept secrets. When it hit me like a ton of bricks, I felt the need to share it with you. My discovery? If you really, really enjoy what you are working at, don’t let it show. In fact, act like you don’t like it at all. Let me explain. Work, you see, is supposed to be, well ... you know ... work. Drudgery, boring and awful should describe work. If you are having fun, it must not be work. If you seem to be enjoying yourself, you have to be goofing off. Nobody i...
It’s called reading between the lines. You know what I’m referring to. Someone says one thing, but means another. I don’t know about you but it bugs the heck out of me. If you’ve got something to say, darn it, just say it. I have always wondered why folks would go to such trouble. It always seemed easier to me to say the few words necessary to convey your thoughts than to spend much longer and many more words, beating around the bush. A few folks might have something to gain by not speakin...
Sue stood silently by as I paced back and forth in front of our jointly shared clothes closet. I may have never written a sentence as full of exaggerations as the one you have just finished reading. Such a simple, innocent sounding statement, you might say. Nothing could be further from the truth. If any of you male readers share a closet with a member of the opposite gender, two glaring inaccuracies are already obvious. Number one, there is no such thing as a “jointly shared” clothes clo...
You know what I mean? The best explanation I’ve ever heard regarding the relationship of a man to his horse is, “The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man.” In the spirit of being socially and politically correct please delete “man” and insert “person” instead. Now that I think about it, the statement, very old I’m sure, needs further updating and corrections. It probably would be illegal to make a blanket claim that the outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person. More...
As winter approaches, their hair has gotten a little long. They are in bad need of new shoes, to compensate for their sore feet, legs and back. They’ve been given about every drug available to help them keep going until the end of the rodeo season. It would be nice to have a fresh replacement, but that’s not possible. The only solution is keep on abusing them. Sounds cruel but that's just the way it is. What’s that you say? “How horrible a way to treat a horse that has given so faithfu...
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” I’ve heard that rule spoken for years. Like all rules, they’re easier to follow if they agree with what you were going to do anyway. “If it ain’t ...” fits me to a tee. It involves doing nothing. Doing nothing is one thing I do well. I’m probably better at nothing than anyone I’ve ever met. I wasn’t always this good at nothing. Years ago, I was good at nearly everything. Around the age of 16 I was an expert on just about any subject or situation I encountered...
Comedian Dean Martin once said, “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they get up in the morning that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day!” With the exception of a couple of indiscretions in my youth and three daughter’s weddings, I really don’t know much about that. I, on the other hand, feel sorry for those who lives aren’t affected by the seasons. I suppose if you live in the city the seasons don’t mean a lot to you. They put on a sweater to play golf in the fall and the morn...
Without going into great detail, I must admit my office is a bit messy. OK, so it is really messy. It is the way I like it because I know where everything is laying or what it is laying under. Sort of. Some things get hung on my limited wall space. Those, I tend to forget about completely. I stare out my windows not the walls. Occasionally, one of those prized yet ignored wall ornaments jump out and surprise me. That’s where this story comes from. If you are in the cattle business or just w...
The best explanation I’ve ever heard regarding the relationship of a man to his horse is, “The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man.” In the spirit of being socially and politically correct please delete “man” and insert “person” instead. Now that I think about it, the statement, very old I’m sure, needs further updating and corrections. It probably would be illegal to make a blanket claim that the outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person. More correctly, it s...
It is not popular to be my relative. Actually, being my friend isn’t too popular either. Truth be known, my wife and kids could be added to the list, also. In my own defense may I say I am not a bad person. Except for a few speeding tickets, I’ve never been in trouble with the law. With the exception of my love of horses and roping on them, I seem to have no serious personality disorders. I don’t kick dogs, use profane language (except at politicians) or indulge in mind-altering subst...
As the Corona Virus hangs around, most of us find ourselves hanging around in some way or another at home. Needless to say, that can get more than a little boring. One email I received pointed out this person just realized the trash was going out more often than they were. Sue and I, like most rural residents, have not been as affected by the change in lifestyle as our city cousins. We live away from town and populated areas. Not seeing anybody for days is pretty normal for us. I will have to ad...
Years ago, a wonderfully cranky old lady, Clara Petter, became famous for asking the question, “Where’s the Beef?” After years of well-known TV and movie stars proclaiming the virtues of my favorite main course, “Where’s the Beef” still ranks high in our memories. With all due respect to Clara and admittedly also without her permission if she is still with us, I am going to plagiarize her with a new, more relevant question, “Where’s the Toilet Paper?” I must admit, after writing “Under Th...
Sooner or later everybody gets one. A little card arrives in the mail informing you your pickup or car is the subject of a manufacturer’s recall. I used to be very concerned when they arrived. Not anymore. The note usually informs me a trifecta switcharola located in the lower trimester of my Paulaabdool may malfunction causing the entire vehicle to burst into flames while parked in my barn. This, of course, would burn down the entire barn including all my trophy saddles and expensive tack s...
Sue and I have always been Pet People. We have had a wide range of pets, most who shared both our outdoor and indoor lives. First there was Tiffy, a small Cocker Spaniel, followed by Hobbs, Sue’s one-person-only, little, white poodle cross, who hated me by the way. In retaliation, I brought home Tina, a purebred Border Collie. She would be part of our lives the next 15 years, sleeping by our bedside at nights, working cattle during the day. Unfortunately, one-by-one they eventually passed away....
Animals are smarter than people. If this line seems familiar, you’re right. I’ve said it lots of times before. This is not an old column. It’s simply one more example of indisputable evidence regarding the superiority of cows, horses and dogs to name a few, over humans. If you are a cowboy-type person, you’ve always known about this. Chances are, dog maybe even cat owners also have been aware of the superior intelligence of their companions. Should you happen to be a non-Resistol owning,...
